I'm in my thirties and I've just become a father to Drew Holt. My God, I never really knew love until the moment he was born. Don't get me wrong, I've been married for nine years and I love my wife dearly.... but not like Drew. The funny thing is that I know she loves Drew more than she loves me and that's O.K. I know that Drew can never love me the way that I love him and that I can never love my parents the way they love me. It's a shame that you can be a parent first and then go back and be a son.... I would have done better.
Drew is great. I don't care if he grows up to be a surgeon or a garbage man. I just want him to be happy. I say that, but I also know that he is the 97th percentile in weight and off the charts in height and I'm convinced he's a genius --- not that any of that matters, but he said &goo goo& three days ahead of schedule! He is a very happy baby and I can see so much of me in him. Sometimes I see a purity in him that I know that I once had and he's teaching me how to get it back.
I look at Drew and I see a world of no pressure or stress. He sleeps without worries of mortgage payments or American Express bills. He lives each moment for that moment -- as long as he's not hungry! I then I come along and I want him to talk and to crawl and to sing and to smile. So am I developing and challenging my son ... or am I putting stress and pressure in his life?
I'm learning a lot from Drew!
Submitted December 6, 1996 by Tim Holt (timholt@cris.com).